I'm the first to admit that I'm a useless ambassador for the fairer sex - I fart, belch, swear (classy bird, me), occasionally have a pint and watch the footie, enjoy scary movies, play violent video games etc....The list goes on.
But I'm not totally bereft of femininity. I also drink silly cocktails (as long as its got an unbrella I'm happy, sparklers are a bonus), like shoes, occasionally wear floral prints, get broody, like small fluffy animals and enjoy getting down on the dance floor. But there are a couple of things I don't get about (white) women - the compulsion to spend the gross product of a small African nation on clothes and the desire to then look like a product of said African nation.
Alright, I exaggerate. The average Britain spends £556 on clothes each year, apparently (yes I know this includes men but I'm picking on the ladies today...). I should be so lucky....I shop when I need to, spending as little time, energy and money as possible (unless it's formal work attire or a must have item...). With a low income I'm stuck in student mode. I look for bargains and still sport clothes from my school days (if its in good nick, I still like it and it still fits then why not?)...Most of my spare cash goes on my hobbies and into my savings...But I realise in relative terms, 550 quid is not that much (I just haven't inherited the hard nosed, shop-till-you-drop gene from my mother), surely we spend far more on consumer gizmos, holidays and fake tans...
Warning: sunbeds cause death. Pretty clothes I get. Tanning, however, is a mystery to me. Natural tans look good, for sure, but all you need for one of those is some time spent abroad or doing some old fashioned hard work in the great outdoors. But why look like a mutated carrot all year round? What ever happened to pale and interesting? To be fair, I understand not wanting to put milk white legs on show in an evening dress and self tan creams are harmless. But sunbeds are another story..
29 year-old Zita Farrelly, from Manchester, died recently after contracting skin cancer from using sunbeds. She was an extreme case - the young mother of two used her own personal sunbed twice a day for seven years. Quite what motivated this woman's obsession we'll never know but poor Zita should serve as a warning to others, temper your usage, or better yet spend your money on something else (like clothes). I'm alright, I got put off using sunbeds after watching Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels....
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3 comments:
I always find clothes shopping an effort, I find it too hard to pick things that will actually look good on me. When I become ridiculously rich I'm going to hire someone to clothes shop for me.
The story about the Zita Farrelly is sad although what the hell was she doing? I think the orange fake tan look is terrible. While no doubt a tan does improves someones looks I think people like Sophie Ellis Bextor can be just as attractive. The biggest thing which makes me laugh is overweight people who use sunbeds. If they are so obsessed with looking good maybe they should spend their money on some slim fast.
OoOooo.....Ouch, put your claws away mate ;)
But I know what you mean...Weight's a whole other issue though....one I'm too scared to tackle. I'm short, average weight, always feel overweight, make the effort to exercise now and again (eat rubbish though)...but I tend to feel sorry for big people - it can't be nice being born with big genes, hard to shift from the start....
My point isn't an attack on overweight people but overweight people who are so vain as to want to use a sunbed twice a week to improve their looks. If they spent the same amount of time in the gym they would look better than the equivalent time under a sunbed.
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